Agile Project Management is Like Teenage Sex

Agile is like Teen Sex because:

• Everyone wants to do it
• Many say they’re doing it
• You always exaggerate how much of it you’re doing
• Most people aren’t actually doing it (despite their best efforts)
• Everybody else seems to be doing more than you
• You get a kick out of telling your friends how they can do it better
• You spend a lot of time thinking about it
• Your first time never quite goes to plan
• You can’t wait until you experience the real deal
• Very few of you/your friends are doing it correctly
• You do everything you can to please your Product Owner
• It takes you a while before you find your velocity
• You always make sure to hold a retrospective afterwards
• Everyone says they’ll ‘do it better next time’
• Your start getting a bad reputation when you spend too much time ‘Doing it’ (See: Doing Agile is a Sign of Incompetence)